I attended my very first Psychic Fair in 2007 with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension. While I had experienced Reiki, EMF Balancing Technique and had some of my own intuitive experiences, it was my first time seeing a professional psychic/intuitive reader.
I walked down the rows of Psychics, Numerologists, Angel Readers, and other practitioners who claimed to be able to read my destiny and tell me the secrets of my soul, but found that I wasn’t attracted to most of them. I had my aura picture taken and finally did settle on someone who gave me an oracle card reading. My reading was really interesting and fun, but not as mind blowing as I had hoped.
It was at the second Psychic Fair that I attended that I met a psychic named Alex (not her real name). Before my body was fully seated in the chair across from her, she was telling me that she was picking up pain in my low back, shoulder, and digestive issues. She then dove right into reading my tea leaves (which was super cool!) and told me that the Archangel Haniel was working with me to open up my throat chakra and allow my intuitive gifts to come forth.
At the time of the reading, I remember it just feeling “right” and that I was receiving guidance that would help me in my life. I felt validated about what I felt was happening in my life, and was excited about what I had heard.
My inner guidance led me to stay in contact with Alex and I travelled to her home many times to receive Reiki and Crystal Therapy Sessions. These sessions helped to open me up to more of my potential, heal parts of myself, and gain more clarity about my life and my purpose.
Over time, Alex and I became good friends and we started to share clients and teach workshops together. It felt really exciting to be around someone who was more experienced and more in tune with her intuition than I was with my own gifts. I felt like I had finally found someone who could help me understand what I was feeling, sensing, and intuiting from the world around me. It felt wonderful… at first.
One day, while visiting a local crystal and gemstone store together, I started to feel uneasy and it was as if a dense fog had descended on the store. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. After we each paid for our purchases and left the store, I turned to Alex and asked “was it just me, or was there some really weird energy in there?” Alex looked at me and snapped “all you ever do is talk about yourself!” I was stunned.
I explained to her that I was just trying to understand what I had been feeling in the store. I had been working on understanding the difference between my own energy and the energy of the people and places around me, and was looking for some guidance and clarification about what I experienced in the store.
After Alex’s outburst, I spent the rest of the afternoon judging myself and trying to sort out what I had done wrong. I felt like I had been attacked.
As time went on, things continued to go downhill. Once, after sharing my feelings about an event that happened that left me feeling vulnerable and upset, Alex became angry and told me that I didn’t know real hardship because I hadn’t experienced what she had in her life. I felt belittled and alone with my trauma.
My ego tried hard to keep me believing the lies that these experiences brought up – that I was selfish and that my needs didn’t matter. That somehow I was wrong and I needed to shape up if I wanted to remain friends.
The last healing session that I ever received from Alex left me feeling depleted. I can still remember the feeling that was like my energy was being drained from my body as she worked on me. I left that session feeling dirty and like I had been energetically abused somehow. I felt powerless.
Thankfully my angels were able to get through to me to help me to see through the deceptions and understand that I was stuck in a toxic relationship and needed to get out. I was ready to speak up and get help.
On the next visit to my Naturopath, my weak and depleted energy field was the focus of our session. He recommended some herbal and homeopathic remedies to help my body repair from the mental and emotional stress I had been under, and we talked about the feelings of guilt and shame that the toxic relationship had brought up.
Working with natural remedies, chakra cleansing, and cord-cutting with Archangel Michael helped me to rebuild my vitality and release and clear this energy from my field. Psychotherapy helped me to release the intense fears and develop new coping skills for identifying and dealing with toxic relationships.
Having experienced such a violation of my own personal energy, while harmful and traumatic to me, has made me a better practitioner and a better teacher, as I have experienced first hand what it feels like when those energetic boundaries are not respected.
As someone who has overcome this form of toxic relationship, I am much more aware of how I care for my own personal energy. Daily chakra clearing and cord-cutting have become a part of my regular routine, as well as a number of other practices that are essential to my ongoing mental and emotional health.
I am still learning and growing, and I know that all of these experiences have led me to the work that I am doing to empower other women today.
Tips for Dealing with Toxic Relationships: Trust Your Inner Warning Signals
An excerpt from a blog article called 18 Tips for Healing Anxiety from Toxic Relationships by Doreen Virtue.
Your body is innately sensitive to other people’s energies and intentions. Check your own inner warning signals, which will alert you that you’re with a toxic or drama-addicted person. Some warning signals you may be getting are:
- You feel used, because it’s a one-sided relationship, with you doing all the giving
- You feel guilty, like you owe the person something
- You feel angry at him or her and at yourself
- After the person leaves, you feel drained and tired
- You have a desire to avoid the person.
Trust your intuition here. These feelings won’t be present in a healthy relationship.